my friend, fear.
discerning between the voice of fear and love. discerning whether a wound is ours or passed down to us. the human experience in its intricacies through my lens and epiphanies.
Fear and I have a long history, 26 years, 5 months, and 11 days. That is 9,659 days of communing with this energy. From the moment that I was removed from my mothers warm womb, all wide eyed and in shock at the difference between the warmth of her body and that cold hospital room where humans surrounded me with lab coats, masks and their latex gloves being the first thing that my ever so delicate skin to feel.. To now, grown into a woman with a long torso and legs, with a mind that wanders and overthinks, with a heart that bleeds out for love and seeks only what is fulfilling to her soul regardless of the risk that it may entail.. For the greater the risk the higher the reward, or so they say anyway..
So yes, since the dawn of my time, I have gotten to know fear. Gotten to sit face to face with her on various occasions. I don’t think she’s all bad really, instead I think she's an alarm. An alarm that is set in order to keep us safe. However, there is discernment that needs to be embodied when it comes to understanding her language. For she doesn’t know how to tell you that her words are actually stemming from a wound that was never actually yours.. And so, that’s where it all begins, the power of the mind at will. To view each emotion, each thought that conjures up as something to witness instead of something to immediately submerge yourself in.
It’s not all wrong to dive head first into the waters that arise within, however, did you check the temperature of the water? Did you look out onto that ocean to see if the waves are tossing and roaring? Have you used the eyes that were ever so graciously gifted to you in order to see what lies beyond? This is the power that we hold as humans, this element of consciousness, where you are able to make the choice to jump or to simply just watch.
People say that what is meant to happen will happen, and of course it will. It always does. And you get to choose. You see the reality is that you always know what is true for you. Deep down there is always a whisper that informs you if you are on or off track. However, this whisper needs to be strengthened, it’s like a muscle, the more you listen to it, the louder it’s able to become. Sometimes, I allow the other voice to shout over the whisper, because you see the voice of truth is soft and cunning. It comes to you out of love, it doesn’t force an agenda onto you it only reminds you of what it is that is meant for you. However, the voice of fear is initially much louder and if you give it power, it will drown out the whisper completely until you go searching for it again. Fear is the destroyer of everything I’ve come to notice. Every single action that causes any form of pain is rooted in some sort of fear.
The most important task that we as humans have to take on is to learn how to discern each sentiment from either fear or love.
If we are able to hold awareness towards this within our every waking moment then we will be able to live a life of alignment. A life where you can sit at the edge of all that you’ve ever known, where the sea meets the shore and you can simply enjoy the view. Where you can simply observe the way the waves sometimes roar and others how they rest easy and at peace.. Where you can take a step back as you see the tide roll in and where you’re able to wade within the waters when you see that it’s safe. And even at times when the waves do rise, you choose the one you want to ride that will bring you safely back to shore. You embody the discernment, the knowing of the ocean, the knowing of emotion, you know which to become, and which to simply watch.
You no longer hold attachment to all that arises within you, instead you enjoy the process, of understanding, of calling upon radical compassion and viewing as it all occurs. Submerging yourself within it when the waves call your name and the waters assure you that they will hold you oh so safe. This is the way.. This is how you become the one that you always wished to become, this is how you break the patterns of self-sabotage. You become aware of it, you see it for what it is, and you do the exact opposite of what that fear-based thought is asking of you to do.
So yes, fear, what a concept, one that we all universally experience in our own ways. An energy that we are to master and keep in balance. To befriend and to honor as the powerful protective force that it truly is.